3. White Lies
“I stand as one but come in as ten thousand.” – Oprah Winfrey
3 weeks before my birthday I got fired from my job, got ghosted by someone I considered a friend, and ended a relationship with someone I was dating. No one told me that turning 25 would come with this huge dose of reality.
Unfortunately, I barely looked forward to celebrating New Years. I don’t have many friends in Charlotte, I hated my job, I abandoned my blog, and I wasn’t looking forward to celebrating my birthday. I felt hopeless. What do I do when I’m feeling hopeless? I turn to God, and I cry. I chose to release all ambivalent emotions about my life. I asked God for a change, especially in terms of my career. What shocked me the most was how fast he answered. I got fired from my job 19 days later after New Year’s.
My old job was taking a toll on me emotionally:
1.The commute was too far from home, but I was optimistic and wanted to work.
2.When I first started in my position, I was constantly warned about the company owner’s temperament and beliefs.
3.I got sexually harassed my first two weeks.
4. There was no HR to complain to.
5.My supervisor at the time underestimated my ability to adapt and learn.
6. Microaggressions suck.
This was one of my first jobs in a corporate office. From my experience, corporate America is overrated. When I took this job, I was ready to learn something new, show off my knowledge and skills, and see where this new journey took me. I was the youngest woman in the office. Not to mention, the only black woman in the office. (They fired the other black woman two weeks after I joined the team. Safe to say when she left, I felt like I had no one to relate to.) Being a black woman in a predominate white workspace does not bother me. I try my best to see people as they are and not based off what they look like. Because that’s what Oprah told me to do. However, when management decides to remind me that I’m the only black woman in the room, that is when I feel repulsed.
I said microaggressions suck because they do. I did not appreciate the conversations about how long my real hair is, are my knotless box braids my own, making tasteless comments about my choice of clothing, or management flirting with me because they assumed I was young and impressionable. When I came to work in comfortable yet professional attire, I would be told I look I’m in my pajamas. (Meanwhile I could be wearing slacks and a button down.)
Sadly, as an educated black women, when some of us go into these spaces, we must prove ourselves to people despite our credentials. I had to deal with comments like
“It surprises me how smart you are.” from people who haven’t obtained a high school diploma or a college degree. It’s obvious that white privilege has been their friend in the land of opportunity.
Throughout this journey I refused to let this discourage me. I felt like God was preparing me for a blessing, so I remained patient. I thought Lord, you brought me here, so there must be something you’re trying to teach me but by January my patience was up and it started to show.
Long story short, I guess management started to see how unphased and resistant I was to their nonsense and fired me due to “budget cuts.” I was relieved but I couldn’t help to think what does this mean for me now? What’s next?
